You are about to enter another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound... but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land of imagination. Next stop.......... daytime television! Dip deep into the black hole of your memory and remember a time when getting to stay home "sick" from school was not only a rare happening, but a day cherished by vegging on the couch with free reign over the television and ice box. To this day when I think of staying home "sick" I immediately hear the Andy Griffith whistle playing over and and over in my mind- the show I only knew existed in the obscure world daytime television. As quickly as I remember the tune, I remember quickly changing the channel because I actually hated that show. Instead I would allow myself to become immersed in the fantasy land of daytime game shows. Among the upper echelon of this genre was of course, The Price is Right. While most awkward girls my age might fantasize about being one of the glamorous Barker Beauties, I instead dreamed of being that random audience member chosen by Rod Roddy because of my sparkling personality and/or uniquely designed homemade T-shirt expressing my love for Bob Barker and his skinny microphone. After all, he would love me too, impressed by my vast knowledge of the prices of toaster ovens and Cadillacs alike. The chance to dominate on plinko and win BOTH showcase showdowns were of course delusions of grandeur.....but they were nonetheless, MY delusions... delusions that now only exist in my memory.... delusions that I hoped to rekindle while staying home from school "sick" this week, but instead got a big fat idiot standing in the way of memory lane... that fat idiot being Drew Carey of course. I know I am like a year and a half late to this train wreck, but as I sat and watched Mr. Carey's despicable attempt in hosting a show that I hold so dear to my heart, I couldn't help but wonder why he thought he could fill the shoes of the greatest game show host of all time with his stupid laid back nonchalant demeanor, beady eyes, and patronizing phony giggles!! There is no connection between you and the guests Drew....there is no love, nobody wears a 'I heart Drew' shirt and nobody wants you holding that skinny microphone! It's all a CROCK!! A SHAM! A travesty to sick kids staying home from school everywhere!!! You are no Jay Peterman and you should be ashamed of yourself! That is all.
