I've always had a distaste for the Quiznos franchise. I like to consider myself somewhat of a sandwich connoisseur- a sub fanatic, a hoagie extraordinaire. Going to an establishment such as Quiznos is about as infrequent as I wear lingerie these days......
Every once in a while I like to give places such as these a fair chance, so I stopped into one to grab a turkey sub on a desperate afternoon. I walked in and read the menu. It was loaded up with all sorts of specialty sandwiches- none of which fit my fancy. I am a bit of a picky eater I suppose- I like only a few items on a turkey sub and I hate condiments (much to the dismay of Edna - the sub lady at my local publix- much love, Edna!). So I ask what I believe to be a perfectly normal question: Can I make my own sub? To which the cold hearted skank..er girl behind the counter replied: why would you want to do that? Um.... because I don't like any of the 'creative' sub choices you have on the menu!?!?! to which she utters the magical phrase in her most annoying 80's valley girl voice "Well, this really isn't Subway ya know".
The absolute retardedness (new word alert) of her 'justification' for not wanting to make me a custom turkey sub resulted in my COMPLETE AND TOTAL HATRED FOR THE QUIZNOS FRANCHISE and my vow NEVER TO STEP FOOT IN ANOTHER CRAPPY STOREFRONT AGAIN. You insulted this bread, turkey, cheese, lettuce, onion, and a dab of oil, sub eater!
So a big SUCK IT to you, Quiznos. I'd go to Subway any day over your pathetic "mmmm..toasty" lame-slogan-havin'-chiponyourshoulder-valleygirlhiring-nonaccomodating -preservativestuffed-wannabesubshop.
