I have GOT to learn Photoshop!

Thanks to Paul, I do own Photoshop, but dang... I can't work this type of magic yet!! I need to get with the program. Oh and by the way.... does Faith really look THAT bad in the original photo???? Sweet Jesus.

Marketing Geniuses!

So for those of you without the pleasure of receiving my myspace bulletin, here is a gem that I found yesterday: A "Kwik-E-Mart"!! Technically a transformed 7-11 in an (awesome) attempt to promote the upcoming Simpsons movie. There are only 11 of them in the US and one of them is here in Orlando. I just happened to drive by it yesterday and had to turn around for a picture. They sell Buzz Cola, Krusty-Os cereal, pink frosted donuts, and slushies-- sadly, I could not find any Duff Beer. Regardless, how cool is this?

No Grunting Allowed

Somewhere, some place in any gym you go to you will see a sign that explains that loud noises and/or swearing is disruptive to others trying to work out around you. You'd THINK that this was common sense-- who REALLY grunts while they work out?!?!? I mean, besides the creepy bald guy at MY gym... who, despite, the posted "no grunts, swearing, loud noises" allowed sign, continues to make the most offensive noises while he is bench pressing. I swear he is doing it on purpose... nobody makes those sounds uncontrollably.... do they?? and is it a coincidence that he just happens to always be on machine near ME?!? I hate you bald creepy grunting bastard, I hate you!

P.S. I googled creepy gym guy and up came this pic of carrot top.... what a FREAK!

Lookie at what I found!

Just randomly growing in my yard!!! Pink Lillies!!!!

"Hey, snakes were fuckin' demselves long before Adam and Eve showed up, T"

sigh, Paulie... I will miss your insight most of all. R.I.P. Sopranos.

White Pizza??? White LIE!

I'm pissed. I never ever ever order out. The other night I wanted pizza like nobody's business. We have a Donatos around the corner and it was pouring out so we figured that was the most convenient. I logged onto their website- the fact that they spelled "tomatoe" wrong should have been a red flag, but I pushed on. To my delight I saw individual WHITE pizzas!!! My favorite kind that I never ever get to have because Matt likes all the meats and nobody can do a half white half regular pizza... so I was in heaven. For once, we BOTH get what we truly want! The pizza arrives and this is what it looks like. What a pathetic attempt at creating the divine white pizza. This is simply cheese and freaking bread ok?! A WHITE pizza has WHITE cheeses bubbling out of every pore. This only had mozzarella!!! Not even any garlic, WTF?!?! Talk about metaphor for my life. I never allow myself to really have what I want (ie: pizza all the time), and the ONE time I order out and actually order what I really really want, this piece of crap is what I get instead. Poetic.

BillyD = Billy Douche

My quasi-cousin Paul created this to use in his photoshop class that he teaches. What a pussy. (Billy D, not Paul)