Today's Realization:

I'm fucking fat. The End.

Status Update. Mirror to the Soul

I am a Facebooker by way of Myspace. I guess I am a Myspace transplant. Like many of you, I too, began my superficial 'networking' journey on Myspace and have since moved on to bigger and better things as Myspace slowly began to become what I consider Daytona Beach during Spring Break. There is a certain " jiffy sto' " ickiness I feel when I sign in (yes I still have an account of course!) that I have been forced to focus all my time and energy into Facebooking. If you don't participate in either Myspace or Facebook then you might as well stop reading because you're lame! (or is it the other way around?). If you facebook religiously, then you will know up front that it's all about the status update, pictures, and the comments you generate by both your status update and pictures. Yea yea, you can write on peoples' walls and check out their personal info- but face it, we hardly do that--

I am serious when I say I have never felt such a variety of emotions from the written word. Nothing makes my blood boil more than an idiotic status on Facebook... in addition to those that are just plain entertaining, those that spark jealousy, comments that are made by the vain, the list goes on. I have come to realize that despite the superficial aspect of just saying what's going on in your life at that moment in time, there lies a deeper more intimate meaning whether you realize it or not. Chronic status updaters fall into different categories depending on the frequency of the update, message conveyed, conventions (mis)used, overall vibe, and/or comment conversations/debates they generate.

People who update their status every 15 minutes are annoying. Yes, you are. You are basically telling everyone that 1) you have no life, 2) you don't have a job, 3) you don't have many (if any) interpersonal relationships, and/or 4) you are trying too hard to give off the vibe that you lead an interesting life because you're so *busy*-- newsflash: You are probably a loser.

Category 2 involves those who have the majority of their updates referring to something they have... something they've bought...something that was bought for them...someplace fabulous they are....some place fabulous they're are going, or whatever is truly fabulous about THEM. This category has the tendency to entice the most comments from your groupies who "ooh and aaah" over how freaking fabulous you are- which of course, you LOVE and is the reason you post to begin with, right?

Category 3 includes those who post simply to start a buzz. Making a random political comment, an off color joke, insulting something that most people care about, yada yada yada. Either you are starved for attention (good or bad), or you are some nutcase who has off the wall beliefs in which case you, for some reason, enjoy making the whole world aware of. The crazies of the world are always the most vocal and obnoxious. Just look at Gator fans (no offense Gator friends teehee). Basically, you use your update privilege as a platform for your idiotic conflict/conversation starters because you have no life. Of course you are only idiotic if I happen to disagree.

Category 4 is just your random funny expression, observation on life at the moment, fodder for those who like to chuckle and move on. No real feeling or meaning behind any of it. A random food craving... a comment about some freak at your office, unruly customers, your stupid boss, looking forward to something...I love you the most. Thank you for keeping things superficial as they should be!

Category 5 is the weirdo category. Those comments that you read and just say "huh"? Perhaps poetic.... random (in a creepy weird way)... deep thoughts that aren't meant to be funny... there aren't that many of you (thank God), but we all know them- the *wannabe introspective* weirdos.

I'm sure there are others that I have forgotten or just not cared enough about to include, but this is a good start. Which category are you? Never mind, no need to say. I already know! Time to update my status.